Services Offered
Narcissistic Abuse
Often the dynamic in a narcissistic relationship is hard to put into words, which leaves the victim feeling alone in their experience. If you have felt like something is wrong in your relationship, but can't quite put your finger on it, only to know that you feel confused, hurt, isolated, and increasingly hopeless, you could be in a relationship with a narcissist. The impact of long-term invalidation, gaslighting, entitlement, self-centeredness, and a negative perception of you can be as devastating as any other form of abuse.... yet, recovery is possible.
Covert Narcissism
On the Spectrum of Narcissistic Traits
Like a shadow that is fleeting and difficult to describe, covert narcissistic behaviors are shrouded and insidious. There is less mainstream awareness of this presentation of narcissism, different than the typical portrayal of the overtly grandiose, selfish and dismissing narcissist. Individuals who fall towards the covert or vulnerable side of the spectrum of narcissistic traits are highly sensitive to criticism, have low or variable empathy, and a self-centered perspective. They often have a tendency to feel victimized and respond with anger, frustration, and blame towards others. In relationship, they can be chronically disengaged, invalidating, and irritable, frequently giving the silent treatment or behaving in other passive aggressive ways, leaving victims walking on eggshells and questioning themselves.
Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse can take place in any kind of relationship, whether with a supervisor or colleague, between a parent and child, with a sibling or in-law, and within romantic partnership. Emotional and psychological abuse from someone close to you is traumatic and can cause a deep relational wound that damages your self-esteem and self-efficacy.
In romantic partnership, when the beginning of your relationship seemed so promising and your partner was attuned and caring, it can be very confusing to make sense of their gradual shift towards devaluing and criticizing you. It is common to try to make sense of the new relational dynamic by taking on the blame and trying to do more, do better, or continuously placate them.
Symptoms of narcissistic abuse can include...​
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Anxiety
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Autoimmune conditions
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Chronic fatigue
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Confusion
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Depression
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Guilt
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Hair loss
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Hiding the state of your relationship from supportive friends and family out of fear of not being understood and being blamed
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Hypervigilance
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Insomnia
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Irritability
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New food sensitivities and allergies
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​Questioning your reality
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Substance use/ self-harm
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Tearfulness
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Uncertainty about whether you are exaggerating the problems in the relationship
Counseling for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse
The first step towards healing is recognizing that this dynamic is not a "relationship problem"; it is abuse. Couples counseling can be further traumatizing to survivors if the therapist is not aware of more covert presentations of narcissism, as what is shared in counseling can be used against the survivor outside of session and the narcissist can attempt to triangulate the therapist into seeing the survivor as overly emotional, overly sensitive, delusional, or codependent. Couples counseling is not typically indicated during active, ongoing abuse.
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Individual counseling can be essential to untangle the confusion you find yourself in, identify patterns of power and control, learn ways to set boundaries around abusive behavior, clarify your needs in relationship, and reconnect with your inherent worth and value, leading to a sense of empowerment and freedom.
